Rob & Kelly: Generational Impact

Like many of us, Rob and Kelly fell in love and got married, but didn’t understand how to have a healthy marriage. Kelly acknowledges, “I always knew I wanted to marry Rob, but I didn’t know how to be married to him.” They both describe themselves as strong-willed and passionate. This led to constant bickering that was so severe it began to affect their children. Recognizing that their strife was contributing to their son’s anxiety, Kelly searched for studies that might show divorce could have a positive effect on children, but she couldn’t find anything.

Kelly had given up hope, but Rob wanted to fight for the marriage. In spite of the fact that she was ready to leave, she was also desperate to help her children, so she agreed to try counseling. Although many couples find a counselor helpful, for Rob and Kelly, it did not improve their dynamic.

Then a friend recommended The Marriage School (TMS). However, this wasn’t the first time that Kelly had heard of it. Years earlier, while Kelly was away at college, her parents, Kim and Laurie, had gone through a rough season, even separating for a couple of years. They attended The Marriage School, then known as The Third Option, and it brought them back together, saving their marriage. With her parents’ marriage as an example, Kelly agreed to try.

Kelly recounts, “The first time through the program, it seemed like the conflict increased because the lessons were all new and we were still trying to figure them out.” But on their second time through, they started seeing progress build as they learned how to use the tools of respect, communication and conflict resolution.

For them, the Bill of Rights was key—especially the right to disagree. Instead of spiraling into well-rehearsed “drop down, drag out fights,” they learned to pause, calm down, and work together to find solutions to disagreements. It was particularly important to Kelly that they break their negative cycle and demonstrate to their children that conflict is real and can be resolved in a healthy manner.

Rob challenges men, “Yeah, it’s uncomfortable. But you do a lot of uncomfortable things at work; you do a lot of uncomfortable things at your house; you work out, whatever. You’re going to be uncomfortable. Why not make your marriage better and do it in this guided course?”

The Marriage School has had a tremendous impact on their family— their son no longer exhibits signs of anxiety and Kelly says that she is more in love with Rob than ever. “I respect him more now. I see things in him that I never saw in him before. It brought joy to our lives that I never imagined when we got married.” But the impact is greater than just their home. Rob calls it a “domino effect” and Kelly believes that, “Marriage is the foundation for anything to thrive. The impact is greater than just two people. Marriage impacts your whole community. Every kid. If you have strong marriages in your community, your community is strong.”

This year The Marriage School celebrates 30 continuous years of ministry in Cincinnati. For Rob and Kelly, that meant that Kelly could risk trying TMS because it helped her parent parents. The Marriage School has been around long enough to serve at least two generations! Partner with us, so that The Marriage School is around for your children. And maybe even your grandchildren.

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