Growing Together: Through the Storms

David & Dyah Miller

David and Dyah discovered that putting God at the center of their marriage gave them a reason to keep growing through every hardship they faced.

David and Dyah like to joke that they did marriage backwards. Most couples meet at a bar and get married in a church. They met at church and got married in a bar.

Long before they met, both had already decided they wanted God at the center of their lives, and they believed God had brought them together.

Their wedding at Arnold's Bar & Grill downtown was a day of celebration and redemption. David purposefully chose the date, August 29, 2009, because it was his late mother's birthday. She had passed away five years earlier, and David wanted to give the day something to celebrate again.

What they didn't know was that faith wouldn't exempt them from life's storms.

Just days after their wedding, Dyah returned to graduate school in North Carolina while David followed without a job. They lived on her student stipend as he pieced together temporary work. Then came the heartbreaking loss of their first child through miscarriage. Later came career changes, parenting, financial pressures, and the normal wear and tear that every marriage encounters.

Their cultural differences added another layer. Dyah grew up in Indonesia, bringing family expectations and communication styles that contrasted sharply with David's. On top of that, English is her third language. Yet, like every couple, they had to learn how to communicate.

"We discovered after the wedding just how differently we approached so many things," Dyah says.

There was no crisis, no dramatic blowup or ultimatum. They simply realized that healthy marriages require investment and work. David insists, "If you don't fight to grow together, you'll drift apart without ever meaning to."

They had attended other marriage programs with good content, but The Marriage School (TMS) offered something they hadn't experienced before: a safe community where couples could be honest.

Week after week, they listened as other husbands and wives shared real stories about conflict, disappointment, and the ordinary struggles of marriage. The more stories they heard, the more they realized they weren't failing. They were simply experiencing what most couples experience.

"Marriage is not Instagram-worthy," David says. "People only get to see what others want to see." TMS gave them the opportunity to see inside the real lives of others.

The practical tools for communication and conflict resolution suddenly became more than good ideas. They became skills they could practice alongside people who were on the same journey.

Seventeen years later, David and Dyah still don't claim to have mastered marriage. In fact, this season has brought a car accident, a broken leg, a lawsuit, and major job uncertainty.

"The hits keep coming," David says with a laugh.

Life has not gotten any easier, but they don't face it the way they used to.

Instead of simply reacting in moments of tension, they have tools to slow down, understand what's happening beneath the conflict, and reconnect. Just as importantly, they have a community so that they aren't walking through hard seasons alone.

Their story is a reminder that Christian couples don't have stress-free marriages. Following Jesus doesn't eliminate grief, conflict, financial pressure, or unexpected setbacks.

What faith offers is something better.

It offers the grace to keep choosing one another through every season.

For David and Dyah, The Marriage School became part of that journey. It gave them practical skills, authentic community, and the confidence to keep growing together. Sometimes the strongest marriages aren't the ones with the fewest storms. They're the ones that keep taking the next faithful step together.