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Whether or not we realize it, many of us believe that there is a point at which a marriage can no longer be saved. The story of Glen and Cathy proves that, with God, it is never too late to turn around and receive His healing and help.
From the beginning, Glen admits that they didn’t really have God at all in their lives or in their marriage. Cathy knew that he drank, but she didn’t realize how much he drank. Although they looked great on the outside, disrespect, dishonesty, and manipulation characterized their relationship. Glen used alcohol to bury his pain, and Cathy used his drinking as an excuse to seek attention outside the marriage. They both wanted something to change, but the cycle seemed unbreakable.
When Cathy was diagnosed with breast cancer, she determined, “I’m going to need some higher power help with this. I want to go to church.” Their church family became a source of strength and support for them. Meanwhile, Glen played the part, but as he admits, “I wasn’t done drinking.”
Inspired by her Christian friends, Cathy tried harder to be a good wife and take care of Glen. One day, he looked so ill that she took him to the hospital. His liver and kidneys were failing. The doctor told him, “If you have another drink, you will die.” He was discharged to rehab, but instead of quitting alcohol, he simply began to hide it.
They heard about Celebrate Recovery, and each joined a step study. It was there that Cathy learned she was co-dependent. Glen laughs, “She went there to get me fixed and realized that she needed help too.” The support system of women helped Cathy deepen her faith and gave her the strength to call Glen out for his destructive behavior.
For the next couple of years, they went through multiple cycles of separation, temporary sobriety, and getting back together. Finally, something clicked for Glen, and he was done drinking. He now recognizes that it was God speaking to him.
Understandably, Cathy wasn’t ready to trust him, but then she heard about The Marriage School. She wanted to try it because she didn’t feel good about ending a 24-year marriage knowing that she had not tried everything.
Glen recalls that, “From the moment we walked in, all of the volunteers were very welcoming, loving, caring. We saw that it could make us better.” During the orientation and the class, Cathy also realized that this was exactly what they needed. On the way home, they both agreed that it was like Celebrate Recovery for marriage. They liked it and wanted to continue.
As they practiced the tools from The Marriage School, Glen and Cathy were able to be more open and honest with each other. Glen says, “We both knew how to talk, but neither one of us knew how to listen. Now I’ve learned how to listen until I can hear and understand what she’s saying.” And Cathy shares, “I've learned how to talk to him the right way. In the past, I would yell and talk down to him as if he was a child. Now I talk to him respectfully as a partner.”
Just having the clear tools and lessons was very eye opening. Before the classes, they never understood what marriage was supposed to be or how a husband and wife should behave towards each other. Now, they are rebuilding trust and learning to share responsibilities.
Glen confesses, “There wasn’t one single thing that did it. God has used everything combined to make our marriage better.” And where are Glen and Cathy now? They continue to attend Church, Celebrate Recovery, and The Marriage School and they are growing better together.
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